I saw this posted on another site. I thought it was pretty funny.
New head in Vikings Front Office
Vikings hire former Iraqi
official to front office
MINNEAPOLIS - The Minnesota
Vikings announced today the
hiring of former Iraqi Information
Minister Mohammed Saeed al-
Sahhaf as the new team spokesman.
At an impromptu news conference
upon his arrival at the Minneapolis-
St. Paul International Airport,
Al-Sahhaf wasted no time assuming his new duties.
"The Vikings continue to dominate
the North Division, just as they
did the Central Division prior to
that," al-Sahhaf said. "The Green
Bay Packers simply did not win the
North Division last year - there is
no truth to that whatsoever." Additionally,
he denied a three-peat of divisional
titles for the Packers during
the 1990s or a Super Bowl victory in
1996.
To further demonstrate his point,
al-Sahhaf asserted that Green Bay
fans tremble in fear at the mere mention
of the Viking's name or color.
"They know power and dominance
when they see it, they know,
al-Sahhaf said. "Green Bay's contention
of 12 world titles while the
Vikings are owners of five Super
Bowl losses is propaganda to promote
their own imperialism."
Al-Sahhaf called on the Viking
fans to assist in bringing down the
Packers. He appealed to a higher
calling and a heavenly reward of free
season tickets and 26 virgins for
those willing to lay themselves down
in front of Packer team buses or engage
in random acts of terrorism
against Packer fans.
In response to challenges from reporters
about the scarcity of virgins
in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area, al-
Sahhaf shot back angrily, "Just another
example of the degradation inflicted
on the Minnesota brethren by
our enemies to the East."
Later today, Green Bay coach
Mike Sherman refused comment on
today's news conference, instead referring
all questions to Brig. Gen.
Vincent T. Brooks, deputy operations
officer for Central Command.
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